Poetry Anyone???

[LIONSJUNKIE]

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:


1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING

d1g1t

 

[romecloneout]

haha

 

[NES]

My love is a flame that burns with desire,
but your smelly old **** can extinguish that fire

 

[DungBeetle]

Your loving touch still turns me numb....
but I fantasize about your sister when I cum.

 

[steaktartar]

your eyes are like sapphires and your body ten

that was when i married you where the hell have they been?

 

[RoofTop]

I was so happy the day you became my wife

Can't count the ways you fucked up my life

 

[NES]

You have always been the most beautiful of all your sisters
sorry about the bloody stools and the herpe blisters

 

[steaktartar]

I used to love to fuck your beautiful face and come on your



now id rather throw acid in my eyes isnt that the pitts

 

[NES]

Our love is like a red red rose
atleast thats what i tell all my hoes

 

[DungBeetle]

I use to get lost in love when I looked in your eyes

now I lose my lunch when I see your cream pie's

 

[OnWisconsin]

i loved you, and the way you gave me head

too bad, they buried you since you were dead

 

[NES]

I used to think my little soonerpuppy was atleast good for a smile
but that last sad hunk of shit of a post left my mouth full of bile

 

[OnWisconsin]

sorry, sorry nes, but it's the best i could do

while wiping my ass and thinking of you

 

[NES]

Well I wont deny that you are stoic in nature and teeming with class
but how the fuck did you keep a straight face while picking pieces of broken jar out of your ass

 

[DungBeetle]

Your face is so beautiful, your lips so red

and we'd still be together if you'd learn to give head

 

[steaktartar]

your skin is so soft and you purr like a cat

translation my love is you're hairy and fat

 

[NES]

Though I was dumbstruck by cupid the first time I looked into your eyes
I knew all that all that fried food you were eating would go straight to your thighs

 

[DungBeetle]

Your love filled my heart when it was so hollow

But I left you for another, because she would swallow.

 

[roadreeler57]

Roses are red voilets are blue
Now the bags over your head so I can continue.

 

[Doug]

When I married you, I thought you'd make me spiritually rich
now, I know you're just a bitch.